Archive for August, 2011

Jake Locker Sighting

August 28, 2011

(Click to embiggen)


I couldn’t get a pic of Martz facepalming like DFM asked for (he called the game from the booth).  However, I got this one pregame of him giving me the stinkeye:

A few more pics from last night’s Bears/Titans game, if you are interested:



Obama Thursday

August 25, 2011

Biden Tuesday

August 23, 2011

Tulane Green Wave Preview

August 21, 2011

First, I’ll let the players introduce themselves:


This will be the 118th season for the Green Wave.  Tulane’s first intercollegiate season was in 1893, and they became a founding member of the SEC in 1932.  Tulane left the SEC in 1966 and was an independent until 1975, when they became a charter member of the Metro conference.  In 1995, the Metro merged with the Great Midwest conference to become C-USA.  Tulane was a founding member of all three conferences it has been a part of, so we’ve got that going for us, which is nice.  Now for the not so nice:

Overall record:  483-554-38, for a .467 winning percentage.  It would take six consecutive undefeated seasons to bring us above .500.  Ouch.


Currently the Louisiana Superdome.  I attended every home game there from 1991 through 1994, when we racked up impressive records of 1-10, 2-9, 4-8, and 1-10.  Curse you, Buddy Teevens!

Before the Superdome, however, the Wave was famous for the 81,000 seat Tulane Stadium.  Serving from 1926 to 1980, Tulane Stadium was host to the Sugar Bowl from 1935-1974, where the SEC champ would host some patsy and booze it up mightily on Bourbon Street.  Curse you, BCS!   The first Sugar Bowl was played on January 1, 1935, and featured SEC champ Tulane pounding Temple 20-14.  Tulane shared the stadium with the NFL expansion New Orleans Saints from 1967-1974.  The stadium was host to Superbowls IV, VI, and IX, the latter of which was the final game to be played there before the Wave and the Saints moved to the Dome.  Tulane now plays occasional games at City Park, including the annual homecoming game.  City Park was completely submerged during Katrina, but was quickly rebuilt thanks to generous donations from people like Reggie Bush (way to use that USC booster money for a good cause).

Notable Seasons:

1900 – First perfect season at 5-0, including victories over Bama, Ole Miss, and LSU.

1929 – Second perfect season at 9-0.  Declined Rose Bowl invitation due to finals (we’re known for academics, not football, dammit!)

1934 – Winners of the inaugural Sugar Bowl, capping a 10-1 season.

1974 – Only 8-4, but notable for a huge upset victory against Colorado in the Liberty Bowl.

1987 – Mack Brown, in his pre-Texas days, coached the Wave to a loss against the Huskieies in the Independence Bowl.  He was immediately fired.

1998 – The high water mark!  Tulane went 12-0 and crushed BYU in the Liberty Bowl 41-27.  First National Championship (disputed by Tennessee and the BCS)

2002 – An 7-5 season capped by JP Losman gathering national attention in a 36-28 shootout victory against 10-1 Hawaii  in the Hawaii Bowl.  I have fond memories of this game – Christmas Day aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, just prior to us heading off to kick Saddam’s ass.

2007 – The year of Forte’s ascendancy.  Sure, we were typically abysmal in Bob Toledo’s first season (4-8), but the magic of having a guy run for over 2100 yards and 23 TDs  made it beautiful.

2011 – The year Tulane dominated the NCAA – not only were they undefeated at 13-0, but they capped it off with the school’s first Heisman winner (results projected)

Notable Football Alumni:

Max McGee – WR, 1951-1954:

He had a pretty amazing life, but let’s get the obvious out of the way first – he was the first drunk to win a Superbowl.  In the waning days of his career with the Packers, he had been phased out – in fact he had only caught 4 passes during the 1966 season.  The night before the very first Superbowl, knowing he’d never see the field, he went out and got rip-roaring drunk.  He made it to the game, but was by all accounts in miserable condition – he told the starter in front of him “I hope you don’t get hurt. I’m not in very good shape” before puking in the locker room.  Sure enough, injuries pile up and he gets called to play.  He didn’t even bring his helmet – he had to borrow one.  He stepped in, one-handed a 37 yard pass from Bart Starr, and scored the first touchdown in Superbowl history.  He went on to rack up 138 yards and 2 TDs in the Packers 35-10 victory in Superbowl 1.  Amazing.  Max McGee’s drunken behavior and football excellence were in keeping with the highest traditions of Tulane University.

He was actually an amazing player other than the booze – he was the first high school player to ever rush for over 3000 yards in a season.  He retired from the NFL with 6,346 yards receiving and 51 TDs, as well as punting for 10,647 yards with an average of 41.6 yards per punt.  He spent many years post-NFL as a color commentator and was awarded Wisconsin ‘Sportscaster of the Year’ ten times.  His best year at Tulane was 5-5, but he still was a 4th round pick.  Rest in peace, you drunken, amazing bastard.

Eddie Murray, 1977-1980:

A Canuck who moved to New Orleans, Eddie Murray was one of the few kickers who get drafted.  Although mainly known for his years with the Lions, he made a 21 year career in the NFL.  At 75.5% his career kicking percentage was not stellar, but good enough.  He kicked 3 FGs in the 1994 Superbowl and won a ring with the Cowboys.  As a sad sidenote, he was the only Tulane alum in the NFL when I got there in 1991.  That’s enough reason to put him on this list.

Shaun King, 1995-1998:

How good was this guy?   Let’s start with this:  in 1998, Shaun King had a passer rating of 183.3, which set the NCAA record.  As of 2011, this record still stands.  Tulane went 12-0 that season, and King played the last 9 of those games with a broken wrist, encased in a club-like cast.  Giving no fucks whatsoever, he still became the first QB in NCAA history to pass for over 3000 yds and run for over 500 yds.  His final stats that year:  244-364 for 3495 yds (67%) with 38 TDs and 6 ints, while running 156 times for 633 yds and 11 TDs.  This magical season culminated with the first National Championship for the Green Wave, which will someday be recognized by the NCAA, after the six teams who were ranked ahead of us vacate their wins for cheating, or for not being as awesome as that Tulane team.  Shaun King went on to have a short but brilliant career in the NFL.  He stepped in midseason as a rookie and led the Tampa Bay Bucs to the NFC championship game, losing only to a horrible call by the refs who wanted to see Mike Martz curse the NFL for the next 20 years.  He led Bucs to the playoffs again the next year, scoring 23 TDs, but they fell short of the Superbowl on a missed FG.  That ended his NFL career – Dungy was replaced by Gruden, who required a QB to be at least 45 years old to play for his team.  Fuck you, Gruden – you had gold dust in your hands and you shat it away like the turd which is your broadcasting career.

Mewelde Moore, 2001-2004:

(looking at the photo, I admit that it is possible his line held him back…)

Only the second player in NCAA history to to rush for 4,000 yards and have 2,000 yards receiving, Mewelde made the most of his 4.65 forty speed.  Mewelde had 22 100+ yard rushing games in his career at Tulane.  He was consistent and solid, and probably made JP look better than he was.  He was the C-USA freshman of the year in 2000, and made 1st team All-Conference every year after.  He was a consistent 1000 yd rusher on a team that hadn’t seen that since the ’50s.  Drafted by the Vikes in ’04, he worked his way up from kick returner to become their leading rusher in 2005, and became the only player in the league that year to score by rushing, receiving, and punt return.  As a free agent in 2008 he moved to the Steelers, and earned praise from coach Mike Tomlin for being the glue that held the offense together when both Willie Parker and Rashard Mendenhall wimped out with injuries.  He got a ring for his efforts, joining McGee and Murray.  He’s still playing with the Steelers.

Matt Forte, 2005-2008:

Matt was a local from Lake Charles, LA.  His father was a D-lineman and captain on the Tulane team in the 70s, and Matt followed in his father’s footsteps.  Forte was always a quiet guy, and his Tulane career started no differently.  He made a little wave in his freshman year, running for 624 yds on 140 attempts, and earning C-USA freshman of the year.  His sophomore year was more of the same production, but nothing special – 655 yds.  He started to emerge in his junior year – 808 yds on a 5.8 yd/per clip, and 348 yds receiving, totaling 9 TDs.  His emergence was cut short with a season ending knee injury in the 8th game of the season.  This was during the last throes of the spread offense at Tulane, and the last year of coach Scelfo.

New season, new coach.  Screw the spread offense – we’re going power O, even if our line averages 250 lbs.  New coach Bob Toledo decided to pound the ball with Matt.  We might lose, but we’d be glorious in pounding the rock down your throat.  And it was glorious.  When the dust settled, Matt ran 361 times for 2127 yds and 23 TDs.  There are still Youtube clips out there that show Matt grabbing his linemen and heaving them at defenders to clear his way.  Considering the team around him, I think Matt had one of the best seasons a college football player has ever had.

One more pic in a Bears uni, for DFM:

(since both Jay and Matt are in mid-scream, I assume they’re talking about the O-line…)

2011 Green Wave Schedule:

9/03/11  vs  Southeast Louisiana  (Dome)

For the second year, we open the season with SELA in the dome.  Wave won last year, 27-21.

9/10/11  vs Tulsa (Dome)

We played them in Tulsa last year and were crushed 52-24.

9/17/11 at UAB (Legion Field)

No game last year, but this one is generally a shootout that gets decided on the last drive.

9/24/11 at Duke

Not sure why we’re playing the ACC.  Duke went 3-9 last year, so hopefully we can pull this one off.

10/01/11 at Army

Army embarrassed us last year 41-23 (it was Homecoming…)  Look for payback here.

10/08/11 vs Syracuse (Dome)

We used to play Syracuse back in my days.  Me and some buddies snuck in several backpacks full of oranges swiped from the cafeteria and got booted out of the dome after pelting their mascot with them.  The Orange went 8-5 last year and won a bowl game.

10/15/11 vs UTEP (Dome)

We beat them on the road last year 34-24, and they’ll be weaker after their stud QB, Trevor Vittatoe, graduated.

10/22/11 vs Memphis (Dome) (Homecoming)

Memphis is one of our rivals from the old Metro conference.  Haven’t played them in a while, though.

10/29/11 at East Carolina

ECU has made it to five straight bowl games, losing four of them.  They were 6-6 last year.

11/05/11 at SMU

Tulane lost last year 31-17.  Look for lots of cheap shots and penalties in this game.

11/10/11 vs Houston (Dome)

Last year we lost 41-23, but knocked Case Keenum out for the rest of the year, derailing his Heisman hopes. If you pay attention to the video at the start of this post, you can see where it happened.

11/19/11 at Rice

This one was exciting last year, with the Wave pulling out a 54-49 victory.

11/26/11 at Hawaii

This season finale is a good choice – if we aren’t going bowling, at least the players get a trip to Hawaii out of the season.

Unless I can’t read a calendar, we don’t get a bye week this year.  I wonder why?

Players to watch this year:

Orleans Darkwa, RB (Sophomore)

Orleans Darkwa is the runaway favorite to win the Heisman this year.  As a true freshman last year, he was down the depth chart to open the season.  He got his shot in the season opener because of an injury, and immediately ripped off 3 TDs, earning a spot in the rotation.  He only started six games last year, and missed some time due to a gruesome elbow injury (note the brace in the image above).  He ended the season with 925 yds on 124 carries (5.0 average)  and 11 TDs rushing.  He also passed for 2TDs on only two attempts, one of which was a 40 yd bomb.  He added 155 yds receiving and 150 yds on kick returns.  Darkwa was honored as a freshman All-American after the season, and is on the Doak Walker watch list for this season.

Ryan Griffin, QB, Junior

Griffin is a big (6-5, 220) strong-armed pocket passer.  He got the final six starts in his sophomore season, and started eleven games last year, missing one due to injury.  For his career, he is 364-595 (62%) with 23 TDs and 13 INTs.  He’s not particularly mobile, but has a quick release that saves him from sacks.  He’s also a tough SOB who takes a pounding but keeps getting up.  He’d better stay healthy, because there isn’t much behind him.

Ryan Grant, WR, Junior

Grant really emerged towards the end of last season.  He’s got decent size (6-1, 195) and true breakaway speed.  He should have a breakout season, and has been named to the 2011 Biletnikoff Watchlist for the nation’s best college receiver.

Trent Mackey, LB, Junior

Trent Mackey (pictured above assisting the police in making an arrest on Jeremiah Masoli) was a 2008 transfer from Duke.  He sat out 2009 due to transfer rules and exploded last year, racking up 124 tackles, 3 forced fumbles, 7 tackles for loss, and one interception.  Mackey earned 1st team all-conference honors last year and has been placed on the 2011 Lombardi award watchlist.

Other players of note: 

The Wave has a great tandem at safety with Shakiel Smith and Taylor Echols.  Smith, a junior, looks like he could make an easy transition to the NFL if he keeps producing.  Echols, a senior, looks like a WR out there (6-3, 204) but has great ball instincts.  Joe Kemp (senior, converted QB) and Wilson Van Hoosier (sophmore) make excellent complements to Grant at WR.  After years of ineptitude at kicker (about half our extra points were missed or blocked for a few years there) we finally found a gem with Cairo Santo, who will be entering his sophmore season.  There was a lot of turnover at OL, but what we lack in experience we should make up for in size – Bob Toledo likes ’em big, it seems.

Final Thoughts:

Tulane has a very young team, but they are returning a lot of talent at the skill positions.  I see an improvement over last years 4-8 season, and possibly the first bowl bid since 2002.  Wait a second, what am I saying?

Tulane will be undefeated in 2011, just as they were in 2010!  They will absolutely win their  118th national title!  Both Orleans Darkwa and Ryan Griffin will win the Heisman, and the defense will be the first to limit all opponents to zero yards and zero points per game.  I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that the SMU players have started to commit suicide under the walls of the Superdome. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly.

Much better.

Roll Wave Roll!

Haters Guide

August 19, 2011

If nothing else, we know how to hate here at good ‘ol KFiL.

As of the last few months I have become a fan of Deadspin. Today they publish their 2011 haters guide to the top 25, and take a few shots at what is the most corrupt, fucked up sport in the world, kollej football. Well worth a read.

Obama Thursday

August 18, 2011

…No time for a phunny photo or video, maybe jj can put one up. Two weeks from today we tee it up!

Biden Tuesday!

August 16, 2011

Hey, remember that shit? Biden Tuesday.

More importantly, only 15 days until foosball!

Obama Thursday

August 11, 2011

Haven’t had one in a while and it is getting closer to the season, so lets warm up the good ol’ OT! I always look forward to seeing who is going to make a dumbass of themselves so here are a few good oldies.



August 6, 2011

We have proposals on the pool for everything from tax bracketology to super win bonuses and a bunch of other bullshit. We need to get this crap together but the good news is that we have plenty of time. So far the entries:

dfm – beloved
jmac – boise
jj – huskieys
sk8 – quack attack
astro – tulane
td – A and M

A nice number if I don’t say so myself. So the challenge is unless we go random, how do we make this fair? These teams wil be all over the place this year as far as records go. The trick is to be SIMPLE and FAIR, everything else including all the algore math algorithms can take a hike.

Also, all are welcome to do a review of your team for the coming year. I think everyone has admin but TD and if you want admin TD just let me know. If you don’t want to do one that is fine, but it adds to the color here and we can all look back in four months on your predictions and laugh.

Season Pool

August 3, 2011

OK folks, here is the deal. Since nobody can figure out an Algore math system that is fair to most of our crap teams vs. real teams, we need to take a vote. The rules for the pool will be identical to last year. One case good beer to the winner. I think we need at least four people to play.

So, in the comments declare if you are in and with what team. I will start by being in with the beloved, as usual and I will put jj in with the Huskieys.